


Die for all I care

by K4t0



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Death, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Nightmares, Original Character(s), References to Depression, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29289690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K4t0/pseuds/K4t0
Summary: "Die for all I care! Yeagar your impatient ass is the very reason we're in this damn situation in the first place so go ahead! fall headfirst with your uncontrollable 'super power' into the sea of fucking titans, whose actually going to miss you?" That was all it took: he didn't jump, he didn't lose composure, the suicidal maniac backed away from the fight... why?Elsa Frink, a mystery. Stood tall at 5'6 Frink is apart of the 104th Training Corps, for what reason? Nobody knows. Not even Annie Leonhardt the one person who Frink has known and trusted  for the past 3 years knows anything about her past endeavours, her intentions... Why is she here? But what happens when her joining the Survey Corps becomes the chaotically organised mission to protect the suicidal maniac who she so desperately despises. Eren Yeager.Read her secrets unfold as she realises that she can truly trust the devils around her but will she remember her blurry past and find closure she so desperately needs? And who will help her find that closure?
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Eren Yeager/Original Female Character(s), Marco Bott/Original Female Character(s), Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse/Niccolo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. ♾

Ok heads up! This is your usual enemies to lovers fic because eren is so hard to write anything else for. The plot has been changed slightly to fit around this story, I haven't changed any major events but some small details like dates, titan shifter backstories have been changed a little bit to make sense. I'm so sorry is anyone is out of character. There will be some Season 4 spoilers at the end but nothing major since this is focused primarily on season 1-3 since the trauma in Season 4, both manga and anime, is far to painful. Enjoy :)


	2. Shit, I lost my prey

**Elsa Frink** , 13 years old, the girl stood low on a roof. Back arched, arms stretched, Eyes focused directly on the pair below her, the tip of her arrow aiming towards the heart of the man hidden beneath the flaps of his dark fedora. Frink cursed occasionally, feeling the strain on both of her arms as the blonde girl also following the same man as her been caught and was being held directly infront of him.

As the blonde roundhouses her leg into the wall Frink decides to take her shot and watched as the arrow hit the man on his collar before he ran and slipped through the shadows calmly. "Shit, that girl made me lose my prey." 

The vulgar languages used tended to shock people around her, the girl held more maturity and trauma in her pinkie finger than anyone else could endure, the girl had a right to unleash that anger did she not?

Frink tightens her fist in anger as she decided to forget about the notorious killer she had been trailing and sprinted from roof to roof, following the blonde into the many alleyways within Wall Sina.

Catching the blond off guard, Frink jumped into one of the alleyways and delicately landed on one of the few barrels. Setting her bow and arrows to the side. "I suggest you try not to run, I want a couple of punches as pay back for making me lose my target!" She exclaimed throwing a punch at the other girl.

"That's bullshit if he knew you were following him!!"She dodged, the knuckles belonging to Frink only just skimming her face.

The two began fighting it out in the back alleyway, one would always get a lead on the other before they were eventually backed against a wall again. Leading the pair to a tie after every punch.

Crashing into the wall with a thud the blonde girl gasped slightly at the ring which glimmered on Frink's finger, as a result of her diversion ending up on the floor with her arms pinned above her.

"I win. I have to admit that was a pretty decent fight." Frink said in a soft and mature sounding voice for her age whilst her hand was out to help the girl on the floor, "Frink. Elsa Frink." She continued a strong grip still held once she clutched onto the blondes hand.

"Leonhardt. Annie Leonhardt." The blonde replied with a raspy voice, Elsa looked down onto their interlocked hands and frantically pulled away at the sight of her ring. "You've noticed as well I see." Annie continued.

"Is it.... Is it actually the same?" Elsa muttered lowly, pulling the silver ring off her finger.

Doing the same, Annie replied "It appears so. So answer me who the hell are you, how old are you and why were you following him" she threatens walking towards the other girl until her back hit the brick wall.

"I told you. I'm Elsa Frink and you made me lose a customers target. But if you must know I was following him because I was planning to kill him. The bastard massacred half the population in my village, a life for a life no?" Elsa glared deeply into Annie's eyes. She could feel her breathing hitch slightly, _ah so she wasn't expecting such an answer huh?_ "Well I've answered. So tell me Annie, Who. Are. You?"

"I came from Shiganshina, the place which just recently 2 years ago became titan territory. I have been living in the refugee camp within wall rose and came here to find my family. That man I had been following may have had some information" Annie clears her throat responding robotically.

"Hmm just as I was beginning to think we were rather similar. You, unlike me, are very bad at lying since I was also there... funny how it just disappeared huh" Elsa scoffed to Annie's surprise.

"But I won't push on the details. Listen Leonhardt it's getting late and travelling between the walls during the night is a pain when it comes to those bastards in the military police. I live above a pub quite close to here, you might as well stay."

"Sure, but I must return soon... I- I have people waiting on me." Annie sighed trailing behind Elsa cautiously.

The pair pushed open the heavy door to the pub within the prestigious Wall Sina. "ELSA!!" Rich drunken men and women alike exclaimed as they watched the familiar young girl step into the pub, once again with bruises and scratches lining her arms down to her legs.

"They know you?" Annie asks grabbing the sleeves of her shawl.

"Unfortunately." Elsa replies monotonously as she grabbed the wrist of her blonde acquaintance and dragged her gently towards the back door but was swiftly interrupted as a wet rag had been thrown onto her face violently.

"Again?!" A women's voice screeched through Elsa's ears while she peeled the wet rag off her face, the water within it stinging. "Honestly what am I to do with you! I give you a place to work, a place to stay and you still return looking like a scruffy teenage boy!"

"Oh hush you old hag," She sets the rag onto the bar table "I had business to live up to as per my mothers request so I'll be taking this blondie and going upstairs to my room and slamming. The. Door."

Elsa continued to drag the girl up the back stairs and into the room, living up to her promise and slamming the door behind her. Kicking her boots off she reached inside a cabinet and pulling out a small box filled with ointments, bandages and other medical necessities.

"You always keep them around?" Annie enquired as she looked around the small room, fiddling with the dainty ornaments that were scattered on the dark wooden desk.

"Yep, I get hurt more often than you'd think! I've had to learn how to do stitches and everything since—"

"Where are your parents?" Annie interrupted, jumping as she heard a huge smash on the floor. Turning around swiftly her eyes widened at the sight of the other girl shaking slightly, standing above the shattered alcohol bottle. Eyes dead, the colour from them drained completely. "Elsa?" She asked shaking slightly herself at the somber aura which emitted from her.

"NEVER bring up my family." Elsa snapped, "I'm sorry, that was harsher then I intended for it to be. Let me clean this up and I can deal with our wounds..."

The pair were silence, sitting cramped on the worn out bed while Elsa tended to their tacky wounds across their faces, arms and legs.

"I'm sorry for bringing up your parents..." Annie spoke up while she changed into a pair of Elsa's garments behind an oriental room divider in the corner of the room. 

"Don't worry about it. I- I don't actually remember much about them ever since..." She responded, cutting off her own words as realised what she could've spilled, while placing two cups of warm tea on the round table in the middle of the small yet comforting room.

**_She's lying_.... Annie thought stepping out from behind the divider, "I'm actually travelling with some companions from our home town. Since you've been so kind, I feel like being honest to you... I don't have a clue as to why but something is forcing me to reveal the real me. The curse, The devils... Me in general... Although I can't tell you much about them." She began to change the subject,trembling...**


	3. The stohess district, sir!

**-3 years later-**

**280 of them. 280 recruits standing row after row begging to train for the safety of the military police. The safety the inner walls could provide them with. All except the select few wanted such selfish dreams, the ones whose hope which once glimmered their eyes were nothing but dead souls wishing for this to be over.**

Elsa being one of them. The 15 year old stood her ground, her once long platinum hair now shaggy and short, resting just below her chin. It gleamed under the sun which beat down on them all viciously. Next to her stood her friend of 3 years **Annie Leonhardt** boring the same dead look as herself. Arms glued to their sides, hearts beating at a slow steady pace, waiting to be interrogated.

"What do we have over here! YOU! Miss _**princess**_." Keith Shanis sneered loudly, eyes turning towards the bored girl. Annie sniggering almost unnoticeably at the choice of words used to describe her not so princessy friend.

"Elsa Frink from the Stohess District sir!" She shouted monotonously, her right hand clutched in a fist over her heart, completely unfazed by the death stare the bald man held on her.

"Ohoho so we have a Wall Sina recruit huh! Well cadet what are **you** here for?! The safety of the walls would do you better." He belittled the girl trying his hardest to gain a reaction of some sort.

"I was witness to the Shinganshina titan attack 5 years ago! It was my home Sir! Before being relocated within Wall Sina. I'm here purely because I want to kill titans since playing assassin for our so called king gets dull after a few years."

The mans eyes widened as he walked from the platinum haired girl, his steps faltering slightly. Elsa ignored the gasps from around her and store straight in-front of her, her eyes never leaving the spot until she was told it was time to move out.

She was listening slightly to the names of those frozen with terror, puppets which were being grilled with such questions.

_Armin Arlet... The poor thing squeals like a pig._

_Jean Kirsten... A snotty and privileged little shit._

_Marco Bott... Cut the live, laugh, love crap out._

_Connie Springer... Grow a pair._

_Sasha Braus... How... Interesting_. Elsa smirked, _what an entrance I'll give you that Miss Braus._

_The hell is the tallish brunette next to me. The guy keeps growling jesus christ, I'll stick a knife up his ass if he doesn't shut his gob._

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"Man, I thought Shadis was gonna kill potato girl" Connie sweated.

"I know what a hell of a first day." Eren continued lightheartedly, watching the brunette sloppily run around the dirt fields. "It's funny, being told to run till the sun sets didn't seem to bother her as much as losing meal privileges for 5 days."

"She has a name you know" The boys froze as they heard the soft yet raspy voice from behind them, turning around they saw the platinum haired girl.

"Sasha Braus, with her entrance you'd be a fool not to use her name instead of a nickname. She's a smart one but then again you boys seem to share one brain cell." She continued, swinging a small knife between her fingertips.

"I- Uh- Well if it isn't Miss Princess, how'd it feel to live near royalty M'Lady" Jean scoffed bowing dramatically before yelping as he fell to the ground. The knife which she once played with her slim fingers now deep into the wood of the ground just below where Jean fell.

The other stood in shock, "If you used your head you would remember that I was witness to the breach of Wall Maria. Shinganshina was also my home. So i suggest you keep your horse face OUT of my business otherwise next time" She looked down at the knife which was dangerously close to his crotch, "I won't miss."

Elsa walked away further into the dirt field and towards the cabins where she, along with the other recruits, would spend time in during the academy.

"What a bitch." Jean shivered as he stood up.

"Please— what the hell are you talking about hOrseFAce! She just owned your ass" Connie laughed hysterically whilst the two started arguing, "Holy shit I want to be friends with her so bad!"

Eren simply ignored them and watched intently as the cart contains the early dropouts rolled solemnly up the steep path. _How did she manage to get within Wall Sina after the breach? I mean it was virtually impossible considering how poor the Shinganshina district truly was. We were treated like piles of dirt. The hell is with her. Why is she here if she already has the safety of the inner walls?_

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"Yeah ok? I saw the big guy" The dining cabin burst into gasps, the latter surrounding Eren's table.

"He stuck his head over the outer wall, It had a mouth like a corpse and no skin, just muscles." He continued cockily.

"And what about the armoured! The one that broke through the wall!" Someone exclaimed.

"It was just another Titan to me..." Eren said.

"So! What were they like??"

He froze, dropping the metal spoon onto his plate with a slight clang. His hand brought up to cover his mouth as memories of his mother raced through his head. Eren's breaths began turn into shaky ones, short and fast.

"C'mon that's enough questions alright. I'm sure he-" Marco began.

"Well, well, well... Looks like Mr Soldier boy isn't all amazing as he says he is." The recognisable monotoned voice erupted from behind him.

That girl... From Stohess... Eren thought feeling the girl's presence shift next to him.

"Yeager? Was it? I bet you act like your so strong, so brave, but you should get it into your head that there is NO hope for humanity. One measly 15 year old ain't gonna do shit... Damn do I hate people like you. People who think they hold the entire world in the palm of their hands."

"HOW CAN YOU HATE ME WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME! IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THERES HOPE THEN LEAVE ALREADY! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE GODDAMN IT!" Eren growled grabbing onto Elsa's collar with a death grip.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out..." She responded coldly before shoving the gremlin boy off her and onto the ground. "Go on. Preach all you want ya maniac! But you should know... It's better to give up and protect yourself." Elsa finished her voice as dull as ever before she walked out the cabin, followed silently by Annie.

"God what's with her?"

"She's that girl from the inner walls, Stohess right?"

"The assassin..."

"Why is she here?"

"She's always with that Leonhardt girl, are they sisters?"

"She's got a point Yeager, you look pretty useless after all!" Jean laughs.

"Fuck what she says! I'm joking the Scout Regiment and then i'm sending Titans back to hell... YOU'LL ALL SEE!"

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The two girls could hear the distant cheers of hope that emerged from the cabin, the faith and honour the recruits had already put on to Eren was disgusting.

Hope is nothing but a figure of your imagination.

"I thought you said no conflict and here I heard you lodged a knife at someone's dick... That Eren boy too, crushing dreams already Elsa?" Annie chuckled lowly, following the girl into the depths of the forest.

Eren? How does she know his first name already? Elsa wondered.

"Jeans a snotty little shit who needs to keep his fat head out of my business and as for Yeager, I hate people like him. People who think they can single handedly save humanity, tsk as if that's fucking possible." Elsa sits down, leaning against a tree watching Annie slide down beside her.

"I agree.." She nudged Elsa's shoulder lightly.

"Annie... Are you planning to hide forever?" Elsa asks clenching her fists tightly.

"El... I'm never going to hurt you or people who I don't need too..." She responded a little louder than her usual tone of voice.

"They're here as well aren't they. Your so called friends?" Elsa growled, "It's been 3 years and you always seemed to leave that detail about who they are out of your story."

"Elsa, It's getting late I'm going back..." Annie glares at her closest friend before leaving her.


	4. What a beautiful crystal

**|Marco : POV|**

Jean was being nasty again after that girl... Frink was it? Left the cabin. I can't help but feel worried about her, I mean yeah no one was expecting her answer to Shadis' question but we've known her no less then 24 hours. Can't believe in that time he's started a riot after throwing a couple punches at that Yeager guy. _Honestly, what am I going to do with him._

_Why am I doing this? Going after the Frink girl, I mean I'd be lying if I said she didn't scare me shitless. Her and Annie, god they're both extremely intimidating especially when they're together. I just know they have the natural talent for fighting._

I followed the path through the woods out back, _she did go this way right?_ I flinched taking another step and hearing a low scream.

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**|Elsa : POV|**

_"Mama?" The little blond girl poked her head out from behind the door._

**Is that me?**

_"Mama, where's father... Why did we leave our home.." The girl continued to ask her mother who played no attention to her anxiety's._

_The women with hair a dirty white, stood behind the sink in the small room which they would now have to call home. Steam emitting from the palm of her hands while she remained motionless._

_The women, Natasha Frink, turned around slowly, blood covering her left hand whilst her right arm from the elbow down was ripped off?_

_"Mama... W-What happened..." The little girl trembled, her small frame shaking with concern for her mother's gory state._

_"Honey, your father won't be coming home anytime soon... Since humanity means **SO** much to him. I'll show him what humanity really is. What **we** can truly do..." Natasha spoke in a tone which was unrecognisable to her daughter._

_"So sweetheart what i'm going to ask you to do is eat this." Natasha picked up a bowl from the side filled to the brim with what looked like blood. "We'll start slowly, but by the time you turn 13 you'll be who you are truly meant to be."_

_The girls eyes widened with fear, her green eyes dulling in fear. No screams emerged from her mouth, not one part of her decided she could fight back against her mother._

**NO STOP! PLEASE DON'T MAKE HER DO THIS! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU MOTHER PLEASE! I could not move from my place, watching the scene unfold in-front of me like a sick flashback**.

**MOTHER NOOOO PLS I- I CAN'T! I DON'T WANT TO, I NEVER WANTED TO.... please**

I screamed, my eyes shot open as i felt a shot of electricity fall down to my fingertips. _What kind of dream was that sick bullshit?_

Looking down I saw the white-blue crystal around my fingertips, "No, No... NOOO!" I punched the tree next to me and watched with a clenched expression once the crystals shattered onto the ground.

"Elsa?" A voice emerged from behind me, scaring the shit out of me. Tell me they didn't see all that...

Turning my head slowly, I was met with that stupid smile belonging to Marco? Was it? Yeah Marco Bott. I knew he saw, I didn't know how much but considering how concerned he looks he at least saw my vendetta with the tree.

"The hell do you want Marco?" I sneered regaining my composure, I'll be dead before anyone sees me in such a state.

"Oh heh so you remember my name huh? Well, I got worried after your spat with Eren and then Jean started being a bastard again... He was talking about you being a— well, you know" I watched his hand snake up and rub his nape nervously.

"He doesn't mean it I swear! Jean is a nice guy when he's not showing off!" Marco waved his hands around.

"Tsk, I'm observant so obviously i'll remember your name and so what if that horsey shit decides to spread rumours. How do you know they aren't true?" I began to walk closer to him, until he hit the back of a tree trunk. _Why the hell is his heart not racing, HE SHOULD BE SCARED GODDAMIT! IM A MONSTER, A MURDERER._

"I've killed hundreds. I have more than enough experience so how do you know I won't just kill you right here?" I glared into his eyes, so stupidly filled with hope.

"Because... Well I've not known you long, in fact you're so distant I haven't even gotten the chance to know you. But I can tell something happened that made you question life itself, I know that you may not believe there is hope for humanity but I can tell that right here under the moonlight there is little glimmer of the need hope in your eyes" He smiled at me softly... _What? Hope?_

I stuttered, my movement was slow and predictable. _Why did he say that like he knows me and what I've been through?_ I removed my hand from his collar and stared at the tree he was once pushed against. I felt him move past me and pick something up from the floor.

"What a pretty crystal." He said which made me snap around and walk towards him.

"Is it yours?" Marco asked me again in that stupid soft tone of his.

"Fuck no it isn't" I argued and clenched my fists tightly.

"Well if it isn't i'd like to keep it, I like how it turns different shades in the dark compared to the moonlight. It's rather beautiful" He spoke sappily about a shard of one of the crystals which once encased my hands.

"But what if it came from something wicked... Something devilish?" I muttered.

"Ah but even the most beautiful things can come from the darkest of places. Though I believe that those who are deemed evil are capable of being good, it's all a matter of how they grew up." He clutched the crystal in his hand tightly.

"...God you are so sappy, cut the live, laugh, love crap out you sound like one of those mental wall extremists." I scoffed, _Beautiful things will never come from such darkness... They can't..._

He laughed, _The hell?_ "Elsa, you obviously didn't have much to look forward to as a kid huh? You interest me I must admit. You and Annie are both so serious and distant, It's no surprise that you two seem like such close friends. If you'd let me, i'd also like to be your friend... I want to show you there is hope!"

"Tsk, Whatever. I've known Annie for years anyway..." I started to walk back towards the path to the cabins. I could feel his presence behind me, not that I'd ever admit it but it was comforting somehow. I'm only here for my own selfish reasons, I can't be making friends of all things. They don't— He doesn't deserve such a burden, I'd only get him hurt.


	5. Suicidal Maniac

|2 days later|

"It's aptitude test time so listen up!" Shadis screeched, "There is no place for you here if you cannot perform!"

People began to get strapped into gear that mimicked the odm machines.

"Fail, and be shipped to the fields" He snarled once again.

Eren watched as Mikasa, Armin and others steadied themselves with ease. The machines making small clicking noises as people tried to balance on the intricate machinery.

Making his way over to the practice machine, the young training cadet was geared up and began to get lifted into the air. But just as soon as he was up, the brunettes world turned upside down just as quickly. Now being shouted at by Shadis, Eren noticed the slight chuckle coming from the other side of him and turning his head he was met with the familiar platinum hair he had grown to despise.

"I'm gonna slaughter all the titans he said, I'm gonna send them all to hell. Yeah, OK Yeager." She snorted quietly.

Eren clenched his fists, ignoring the comments the Shadis was threatening to beat into his skull. He held his glare on Elsa who was softly balancing on the gear with some natural talent making him hate her more. The girl had subtly made his life hell, she was perfect, excelled at everything so far yet never seemed to try her best. He hated how humanity didn't matter to her, he hated that she could brush off the deaths of so many people, the deaths that the titans has reigned upon us all with.

**|Eren : POV|**

"Just remember the basics and you'll be fine" Mikasa said from behind me whilst she fixed my gear, "There's no need for you to try any fancy manoeuvres, just focus on your balance. Then distribute the belts on your waist and legs."

"Loosen up your stance a little bit. If I could do it, I know that you can!" Armin chimed it.

"Okay. A loose stance, but balances. Let's give it a shot Armin." I sweated, my palms shaking slightly. _I have to do this, I have to get this right._

Armin began pulling on the wrench but my efforts just dug me further into a hole as I slammed my forehead onto the floor.

"EREN!" I heard Mikasa shout for me for her voice just became blurry.

"DAMMIT! SHIT, SHIT SHIT!!" I punched my fists into the ground repetitively, _why can't I do it? How does Elsa have all this talent and she uses it for nothing. I need to get this right, for my mother..._

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**The big shot who can't even use ODM gear properly, It's all bark no bite.** He was the talk of the evening. Almost every table in the cabin was filled with the gossip about Eren and his massive failure in training that day.

"It's fields for him tomorrow!" Jean snorted from the same table which sat Elsa, Annie, Marco, Bertold and Reiner.

Marco had insisted to sit with the two girls since he was so adamant about being friends with the dull platinum blonde. He ignored Jean's remarks whilst he focused his attention onto Elsa, making small talk with the girl. She wasn't planning on opening up to him like she did with Annie when they were naive 13 year olds but for some odd reason she didn't feel the need to tell him to 'fuck off'. Could she trust him?

But what stood out to her was the two young me, who were her and Annie's age, deciding to sit at their table. The blonde one, Reiner, he was subtle about it but Elsa couldn't shake the fact that Reiner was hiding something... _Have I seen him before?_ She thought. Whilst Reiner argued with Jean about how Eren has 'some' potential, Elsa scoffed. To her that was laughable. But while listening to Marco's soft rambling she kept an eye on the black haired friend of Reiners, Bertold, **he** was not very subtle with **his** movements.

His eyes would latch onto Annie at times, making it clear that something about her was familiar to him. Was it embarrassing that Elsa could not tell whether Bertold was romantically attracted to her best friend or that he had a past with her? No but in Elsa's head she saw herself as pathetic for not being able to figure out the difference. However what stuck out to her was that Annie, at times, would catch his stares and would hold them solemnly which was unlike her.

The Annie, Elsa knew would some up with a sly remark and threaten them if she caught someone staring.

Elsa looked over briefly to the table which was occupied by the the suicidal maniac's trio and flinched as saw a glimpse of something emerging from Eren's injury.

"It that... Steam?" She muttered.

"Sorry did you just say steam?" Marco asked, staring at Elsa confused at her statement. Annie flinched after hearing what Marco had asked her closest friend and the two had collectively rushed out of the cabin in a relatively calm manner.

"Oi where did ya girlfriend go Marco" Jean teased the freckled boy while Reiner and Bertold chuckled at Marco's blushing expression.

"I've only known Elsa for three days ok! She's not my girlfriend and anyways says the person who is pining over Mikasa only to lose to Eren every time." Marco retaliates trying to hide his undeniable blush. He smiled softly as he felt he was providing Elsa with the warmth and trust she clearly never had with anyone other than Annie. She was beginning to change slightly.

The boys began arguing lightly about the girls apart of the training corps.

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**|Eren : POV|**

**9 PM.**

It was a couple hours after dinner and I refuse to lose to that sadistic bitch, Elsa. _Tsk, I'll fucking show her_. I asked around the boys to see if their was anything I could do to pass the test tomorrow, everyone except Jean answered helpfully. Both him and Elsa make me want to rage on them.

"What's the trick to posture control? Hard to say. Guess I've got the gift, You've just got to feel it! Y'know?" Connie bragged to me, god why does everyone think I'm a lost cause.

I clenched my fists when Jean came real close to me and began talking,"You've screwed up in every way imaginable! C'mon what's your trick?"

"Please guys! I'M BEGGING YOU! You gotta help me" I gave up and began begging.

"God— Frink really was right about you!" Jean scoffed, a bead of sweat travelling down his head "I mean you're a suicidal maniac who thinks you're going to be able to kill all the titans! Dude that's batshit crazy since you can't even use basic manoeuvre equipment."

"Elsa is full of lies! She doesn't know shit about me. God she's so dull and— and crude! How'd she go from the Shinganshina refuges to all the way into the inner walls in the first place?!" I shouted at them, _dammit its so obviousthat I hate her at this point._

"Um well she's not that bad" Connie shrugged, "Like she's got the natural talent and she's pretty fun to spar with. She's kinda unemotional sometimes but she's actually kind of sarcastic but the fun kind! Plus get this, she gave Sasha her portion of food last night and this morning!"

"S-sorry what?! Elsa did WHAT?" Jean exclaimed, just as surprised as us all.

"Yeah I know right! After the knife incident she really fucking intimidated me but she has these snarky moments where she's like kinda nice!" Connie continued waving his arms frantically.

_Impossible, she's a self-centred fool who believes that humanity is due to die out. Who thinks like that? Like they don't care about anyone but themselves._

"To be honest Eren" I felt the palm of Armin's hand rest of my shoulder, "I sit next to her when we have our non-physical knowledge classes and she's really smart! I've had some really nice conversations with her, her mind works so intricately its incredible. I mean she's literally like a copy of some of the most intelligent commanders in the Scout regiment! and I'm surprised how she hasn't been annoyed with all my questions. She may seem cold but in reality she's just an honest person who speaks her mind from time to time!"

"But we know squat about her! C'mon guys don't you think it's weird that we don't know anything about her! Like we know her name, age and where she came from but what about why she's here! She's said she was killing people on behalf of the king and got bored! Is that not weird? We don't even know the regiment she wants to go into" I tried explaining my hatred for the blonde girl but the words just came out more confusing.

"Yeah but must we know more? Eren it's only been 3 days and It's none of our business if she doesn't want to it feel comfortable with telling us about why she's here. Annie is like Elsa is more ways then one yet for some reason all **your** talking about is her," Marco chimed in from behind me.

_Tsk, your only saying that because you have a crush on her._

"YEAH BUT—"

"Eren, let's talk? We'll give ya some advice for the equipment for tomorrow." Reiner and Bertold caught my attention holding onto cloaks for me and Armin.

We left the other guys and walked towards them both, "You see... the four of us aren't like the rest of— them. The others here have never been witness to the horror of the Titan's" Bertold told us, handing us a lamp in the process.

We walked outside and I saw the very girl whose the bane of my anger walking with Annie into one of the girl's cabins.

"Oi Eren? You coming?" Reiner called out to me whilst making there way into the forrest.

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"Did you seriously have to drag me out of there Annie?" Elsa questioned the girl as they walked around the dark and empty dirt fields.

"Yes!" She sighed, "You said something about steam? Are you ok? Did you get hurt?" Annie frantically searched for any sign of injury.

Elsa smiled softly, she loved seeing this side of Annie. The side of her where she would ramble about things, smile, laugh until she couldn’t anymore. She never showed it to anyone other than Elsa, it was the special moments like these which reminded them of the years they had spent together. Despite being a year apart the two served each other like sisters, always looking after the latter.

"Annie, it's fine I was probably imagining it." Elsa cupped Annie's cheeks and snorted, "God I forget how worried you get, it seems like I never see you show me you care since there's so many people around that you have to keep up your 'I don't care I hate everything act' huh?" She mimicked Annie's movements.

"Oh please, must I show you all the time? You'd get sick of me El, besides don't act like you aren't the same Miss I hate everyone around me." She snaked an arm around Elsa and they began walking back down to the cabins, " I mean c'mon that Marco guy has taken some kind of interest in dull old you and if I am correct that bag also contradicts your personality... You're changing." Annie smirked.

Annie had pointed to the brown paper bag in the Elsa's hands, "Oh shut up" She chuckled lowly and shoved Annie.

"It makes me happy though Elsa, We all know I'm going to go before you. So at least learn to smile more often yeah? I love seeing you happy and I think some of these idiots might be able to knock you out of that blank face you seem to always hold. You need to understand that he does not dictate your life, if you want to be free than you have the right to be."

"Gee's since when were you so sappy Annie? I could've got this lecture months ago but only now you tell me? Elsa chuckled.

"Shut it or I will kill you El."

"Oh please I'd like to see you try!" Elsa held a nasty glare.

"Oh it's on Frink!"

"Not if you can't catch me Leonhardt!" She finished and before running inside the cabin and collecting herself, trying to avoid being seen in that happy state.

"Oi Braus!" She called out to the girl conversing with Mikasa. With a swift turn Sasha turned to Elsa confused at why the distant girl had summoned her. Suddenly, the paper bag that was in Elsa's hands had been chucked at her and opening it she found the contents fulled to the brim with stolen food.

Her eyes widened almost as if stars had appeared in them and she rushed infront of Elsa on her knees, happy tears spilling from her eyes. The girl began praying and clutched tightly onto Elsa's knees hugging them affectionately. Elsa was new to the type of closeness that Sasha was providing her with so with a disgruntled frown she softly patted her head. But truly inside her she felt a confusing twinge of warmth, the same she feels with Annie but smaller. However the twinge was different when it came to Marco.

_Why am I doing this?_

She passed Mikasa who had been glaring daggers into her ever since discovering the girl's hatred for her closet friend.

"Don't tell me you're actually being nice to anyone other then me now" Annie muttered smirking into her ear before climbing into one of the beds but not before earning a wack from the latter.

**_Am I serious about this? I shouldn't care... Making friends is useless, we're nothing but Titan bait after all. I hate it all, his idiotic ideal that we can kill all these people in order to pursue his shitty dream. This is his fault, I will kill as many titans to hide my truth and prove to him that no matter how many we kill humanity is doomed, no theory nor dream can provide us hope. But should I make this time I have left worth living? That is a question I can't answer just yet._ **

Elsa glanced to Sasha who was cheerfully eating the food within the bag and laughing like a maniac.

_**But maybe... It might become easier for me to answer that question. On behalf of the happiness I wish I could let Annie fufill after her past. Our past. Happiness huh? Is it worth it at this stage. We don't have much time left.** _


	6. Tsk, Like I care

**9am - A day later**

The recruits stood gathered in front of the ODM practice machines whilst Eren was hooked up to the gear, they all stared at the boy nervously, _would he be able to pass this test? They thought._ Everyone apart from Annie and Elsa were trembling for the big shot boy who seemed oh so hopeless when it came to the core part of their training.

Elsa was leaning against Marco slightly, leaving the freckled boy far beyond a flustered state. The pair had gotten closer during the past week, Elsa was finding herself changing for Annie's benefit and she saw Marco as one of the only people she was willing to trust. Though if you weren't close to the girl you wouldn't be able to tell the smallest shine in her eyes or the subtle smirks and smiles she made around Connie and Sasha, but Marco? He could tell.

He had the same spark that Elsa had felt with Annie after their first meeting. Of course she was only doing this to make her happy, it's all she really wanted and despite not telling her Annie felt herself light up slightly seeing Elsa feel the slight will to live that they all thought they had lost 5 years ago when life turned... devilish.

_She was only doing this for Annie's benefit... right?_

"Eren Yeager, are you ready?" Shadis had beckoned for the scruffy teenage boy.

"YES SIR!" He screeched back, also trembling.

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**|Eren : POV|**

_I'm going to do this... I have to. I need to prove i'm as focused and talented as the rest._ My eyes grazed the figures of Armin and Mikasa as I caught hers they were filled with worry, _what's it fucking going to take for her to stop feeling the need to protect me goddamit._

I felt the belt around me get tighter whilst my frantic eyes landed on the platinum blonde girl stood beside Marco, her eyes glared daggers into me and I could tell just from that glare that she was manifesting my failure. _The damn assassin seriously thinks that she can do better then me? SHE REALLY THINKS THAT THERE IS NO HOPE FOR HUMANITY? I'LL FUCKING SHOW HER._

My fists clenched tightly, Elsa's glare began to fade as Marco had leaned over closer to her making that damn horse face and Annie snicker. _What? Do they travel in a pack now?_ I sneered.

"Proceed" Shadis announced to the assistant who began to wind the metal crank and I felt myself get lifted into the air, hovering above the ground.

The moment of truth _... I WON'T FAIL!_

Cheers began to erupt from around me as I felt myself begin to balance on the gear. _I did it?_ I smiled triumphantly before I felt my balance fade from me and saw the sky turning, the ground colliding with my body.

"No..." I trembled, "That's not what was supposed to happen."

I heard scoffs coming from Elsa and Jean one of abandonment and one of arrogance.

"Yeager, get up" Shadis' booming voice came from above me.

"Sir! Please let me go again, I know I can do it!!" I pleaded, at this point I was beyond desperate, _to hell with working in the fields_.

"YEAGER LISTEN TO ME BEFORE YOU INTERRUPT!" Shadis shouted making me flinch, "The equipment you had on was faulty. We have to obviously investigate that matter but if given a functional peice of gear you might not be so hopeless after all."

I gasped, _fuck yeah._

"H-he did it? Even with faulty equipment?" A voice murmured from in front of me, provoking the whole group of recruits to begin to converse about me... me? Eren Yeager.

I felt a warm embrace around me from my closest friends... one more step to killing the titans once and for all!

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**|Elsa : POV|**

"Well it seems like he did it, good on him!" Marco nodded making me and Jean scoff, Annie rolling her eyes at the loud celebration they rest of the training cadets had for such a measly achievement.

"Tsk, like I care" I murmured before being dragged by Annie towards our next assignments followed closely behind Jean and Marco.

_Yeager does one thing and it's like the world revolves around him, tsk what kind of bullshit does that guy eat because he is out of his mind if he thinks a scrawny little thing like him has a chance against the titans. I guarantee we'll be attending his funeral within the first expedition._

**1 year after joining the Cadets**

**|Year 850|**

"Pick up the pace you leg-healed laggers" Shadis' voice boomed from on top of his horse.

Hours had past and rain started pouring down our bodies, we trekked through the mud and between the tall trees. Backs sore from the huge bags that weighed down on us all, Annie beside me matching our footsteps, the rain was getting louder and louder. But despite that I could still hear her heartbeat fasten, if there's one thing I know about Annie is that she **hates** storms.

These past 2 years changed Elsa a lot, she had grew a couple inches and her build relatively broader than it had been. Her hair, despite being drenched, was still short grazing and sticking to her chin.

The sixteen year-old had created a bond with few of the recruits, a competitive one if you will. She still wasn't particularly interested in showing her true feelings with anyone other than Marco and Annie but with a select few she had grew slightly attached to. Though Elsa being as stubborn as she is, would never admit it.

_Sasha was often hanging around her, draping her arms over the blonde girl and swinging her back and forth to gain some form of reaction. The pair would share food that she had skilfully snatched from the kitchen as Sasha had felt the need to repay Elsa for her "kindness" after providing her with meals during their first week. Elsa wasn't used to the constant touch Sasha felt the need to give her but allowed it after she had said it was her love language? Marco had always chuckled at the girl's utter obliviousness when it came down to anyone other than Annie._

_Connie was an annoying little shit, by accepting Sasha she had inevitably accepted Connie into her distant heart as well. The guy was like Sasha in more ways than one, almost mimicking as her twin, the pair were inseparable. But Connie was a slight cocky bastard who'd always challenge Elsa during practice, of course the baldie would lose within the first 30 seconds and would be forced to endure the never-ending bald jokes which would spit out of her mouth from time to time. The guy would always get her back by calling the latter "El" and "Elsie" which would cause the girl to chuck cutlery directly at Connie's head whenever she heard the "fluffy" nicknames. She did rather enjoy his company though, often having to hold in snickers while ganging up on Horse Face._

_Jean was a different story though. The two weren't the closest but they shared a neutral agreement due to the unbelievable hatred they had for Eren Yeager. Whilst Jean usually mocked Eren from upclose and personal, Elsa had preferred to silently judge the 16 year old from afar. Though she would occasionally offer a sarcastic and malicious comment which would anger the brunettes clingy Ackerman friend which in time would piss Mr Horse face off. The two, however, never seemed to butt heads though._

Elsa felt a bag barge by her shoulder and looked up to see Yeager running towards Mikasa in attempt to catch up to her, _that imbecile doesn't know the meaning of this exercise does he? Does energy conservation mean anything to you? Damn hopeless bastard._

_Speaking of Yeager and his little friend... The hatred between them grew. You would think that the pair would build a healthy competitive relationship but they had nothing of the sort. She was sick and tired of hearing of his dream, his preaching, the way he thought he had to work hard in every element in training. She hated how he took everything far too seriously. His little "girlfriend" wasn't any help either, the jet black haired girl was often seen glaring daggers at Elsa. Wanting to rip her apart from her joints outwards, competing with her for top spot, of course she wanted it purely to protect the doomed suicidal maniac. Elsa saw her as nothing but a guard dog for someone who was useless to save. He may want hope for humanity but Eren Yeager is nothing more then hopeless when it comes to every other part of him._

"You're boots water-logged Arlet?" Shadis growled at the boy who was clearly struggling, a cold sweat forming along with the rain which dripped from his hood down to his chin "Let's see some hustle!"

_Armin, he was special to Elsa. The girl had seen so much of someone she despised in him but unlike that person Armin had used his quality's and intelligence for reasons that she couldn't help but admire. They had spent time together talking about books: fairytales to historical work to encyclopaedia's he owned. The guy's intellect and bravery had impacted her a shit-ton, the pair would pick at each others brains until very early in the morning. Armin had been one of the few to see Elsa in a talkative state but he enjoyed their philosophical conversations far to much to dwell on it. He was very neutral when it came down to taking sides and in Elsa's opinion worked harder than anyone else in the training corps, Arlet was an interesting soul and she found the comfort in him she used to dream of having with the man who left her 6 years ago._

"Gear too heavy for you son? Hell, drop it!" Shadis had pestered the poor blonde boy.

_Leave the damn guy alone_ , Elsa thought as her head had turned back to watch the encounter Armin was struggling to have with the head instructor. Even Annie, another soul Armin's warmth had managed to melt, was fighting within herself to stop and offer Arlet some support.

They watched as Reiner approached him, making Annie gasp slightly and hurry ahead of Elsa. Strange, she thought as she watched her friend trudge away. The suspicion Elsa had for Reiner and Bertold hadn't faded from what it once was a year ago, the pair had some weird connection to Annie but the girl couldn't put her finger on what the hell that connection was.

Snapping out of her thoughts, she approached Reiner and Armin "Oi Arlet."

Elsa walked backwards whilst facing the two other blonds "Listen you two are going to get kicked out and sent to the fields at this rate, Armin stop being an imbecile and listening to that bastard Shadis. You're fucking strong and if I see you give up and bring yourself to believe that you're not worth it, I will make it my personal mission to kick your ass." She shouted through the heavy rainfall.

“I AM NO ONES BURDEN YOU HEAR ME!” Armin shouted

It was like he had been possessed by a wave of energy because the boy nodded and grabbed the bag from Reiner, running off into the distance.

"The guy may be built like a daffodil but damn does he have some mental strength" Reiner mumbled in shock, running up to catch up with everyone after nodding a greeting to Elsa.

She felt a hand slink around her wrist as she was being dragged back towards the group by Marco, "So I see we've unlocked a new achievement! Elsa Frink learns how to cheer on a classmate" He announced cheerfully despite being spat of my droplets of rain.

"Ha Ha Marco, very funny" Elsa rolled her eyes, running towards Annie, ears dusted with a shade of pink after feeling the warmth Marco's hand had given her.

_Marco Bott. An original. There from the start. The 17 year old was a year older then the rest of the small group of cadets but apart from Annie the closest to Elsa. He was persistent for weeks to get the blondes attention, putting everything aside to offer her his hand in friendship, support, loyalty, love. Marco was a beauty himself, almost like a god sent from above it was almost too good to be true. His small sarcastic comments and loud laughter had worked miracles for Elsa and her darkening thoughts, his light was always shining her way, always pulling her out of that darkness she'd wake up from. The girl was horrible at learning to express herself after being bottled up and distanced for years on end so the pair had settled on letters and notes to pass onto each other if there was something she was struggling with and couldn't say it out loud. He was truly the one who led her on the path to answering the question she had struggled with, **Is it worth it? Is the happiness worth it? And god was she so close to figuring out her answer.**_ ****

**Marco Bott was her answer.**


	7. Rainfall

The rain continued to fall heavily upon their heads as the recruits moved from tree to tree, the ODM gear echoing through the forest. Shadis rode below them on horseback watching and assessing the training cadets while they attacked the makeshift wooden titans.

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|Shadis : POV|

 _This years recruits are a strong bunch, the armour and colossal titan incident clearly affected some in more ways than others._ I watched them swing through the tree tops, blades in hand, the talent these few recruits hold is impeccable.

_Mikasa Ackerman: The girl is unbelievably strong, capable of many deeds. I could place her up top with the likes of Captain Levi in the Survey Corps. The only drawback I could give her is that strange attachment she has with Yeager, she needs to learn how to work on her own. Of course she must protect her comrades but before all else, but in life you must always protect your own life first in this cruel world we live in._

_Sasha Braus: She came from a hunting village did she not? Braus holds an impeccable control over her instincts, stealing the kill just as people plan to go in for it. Determined and strong but will that be able to hold up once she sees a titan for the first time._

_Connie Springer: Agile on the switchbacks but a few sandwiches shy of a picnic._

_Annie Leonhardt: Gifted with a sword, but does not exactly play well with others._

_Jean Kirstein: Head of the class in ODM gear; also a insufferable smart ass with a hair trigger temper._

_Eren Yeager: Lackluster in the classroom but makes up for it in the field. However, driven by a sense of purpose that's almost terrifying. Your father would be proud._

"Oi Frink! Steal my kill again and I'll kill you!" I looked up to watch Kirstein free falling down a tree whist Frink got his kill.

"Say that again when you figure out how to catch me Horse Face!" She shouted monotonously from a distance.

_Elsa Frink: Unbelievable skill for a girl her age, a model cadet. In fact she's nothing short of being called a genius both academically and in the field. She has shown that she's had some form of training taught to her from a young age. However, when it comes to working with others who don't think the same way she does... well she doesn't exactly know how to play nice._

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|Elsa : POV|

Hours had past and it was around 8pm, the cabin we were huddled in was filled with people eating hastily whilst stifling a cough or a sneeze. The rain really took it out of the majority of us, around 60% of us all were shaking with an upcoming case of the common cold.

The rain continued to hit the dirt floor heavily outside the cabin, transforming into a storm which shot out the occasional bolts of lightning and deafening claps of thunder.

I ate my food slowly at the table, my right hand slightly numb from the cold as my left was being held by Marco's who rubbed slow, warm and comforting circles on the back of it. Even Connie and Sasha, our usual serotonin substitutes, were struggling to sit upright before Connie had face planted into his bowl of food making Jean snicker. The pretty boy looked completely drained out of his mind.

Marco was probably the only one who looked and felt like a ray of sunlight. He softly smiled at the exhausted group we made, blankets draped over us while the doorless entrance allowed the cold air swarm through the cabin.

A bolt of lightening echoes through the room and the light blinded the people closest to the opening. I felt Annie flinch and drop her spoon at the familiar shock of lightening, her hands brought to her mouth while a cold sweat began to drip down her forehead.

"Annie, you ok?" I placed a hand on her shoulder, I was worried for her. _No one will find out, I swore her secrecy._

The blonde couldn't even respond to me, her hands were still clutched over her mouth, trembling like a frightened mouse. Though she did nod to reassure me that she was " _ok_ ".

I heard a bang and looked over to find Armin had fell headfirst onto the table, I let go of Marco's hands and discreetly rushed over their but not before grabbing a cold wet towel from the bowl that was provided for those who were sick.

I ignored the glares from Yeager and Mikasa as I rubbed circles on Armin's back while sitting him up straight again and holding the towel on his burning forehead. I pulled the blanket from around my shoulders and draped it over him while his head fell on my shoulder, making me flinch.

"Arlet I need to go so take care of yourself ok?" He slowly lifted his head from shoulder and I brushed his hair back, tying it into a low ponytail to keep it from irritating his face.

I turned around to see Annie had disappeared from our table, "Oh... fuck..." I rushed out of the cabin into the soaking rain.

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|Eren : POV|

Mikasa and I watched as Elsa had taken care of our blonde friend who was falling desperately sick like the majority of the recruits. Even I felt a couple chills run down my back.

Her calloused hands had been so gentle with him, _why is she like this with him? Why does she care?_

We watched her rush out into the rain. Was it strange that I was willing to go after her and confront her for everything, _the king, the way she held no hope for humanity, why she was caring about my closest friend all of a sudden._

_Is she the reason Armin would always run off with book after book to meet someone?_

"See I told you she cares" Armin whispered to us before falling backwards, Mikasa and I rushing to catch him before he slammed against the floor in a coughing fit.


	8. Carry on... Please

Elsa ran and ran, the rain hit her face and ran down her cheeks with haste. The cold encased her body, making everywhere from the tips of her fingers to her toes numb with despair

_For God's sake Annie... Where are you..._

She ran through the woods and into the little clearing where she and Annie would go to after training. But it was empty. The shadows around her began to rise and the thunder rang her ears. becoming louder and louder.

Elsa felt herself become smaller, she just wanted to find her friend who was so desperately scared of the lightening which brought back so many awful memories.

She felt as if she was standing on Mount Olympus, the lightning bared down all around her. Shouting at her ruthlessly.

Elsa collapse to her knees, sobbing and crying out, herself now being affected by her own memories lightening reminded her of.

She panicked as she felt sparks run down her arms. _STOP PLEASE STOP GOD PLEASE._

_Mother... Please... I can't have them know.._

The girl, confused and dazed, spilt salty tears down her cheeks. The raindrops ran with them, competing in a way. Her clothes soaked to the bone. The long skirt she wore stuck to her legs, the green shirt completely drenched and irritating her skin.

She trembled and shook, unbeknownst to the warm voice calling out for her in panic.

"ELSA! ELSA GODDAMIT WHERE ARE YOU? ELSA PLEASE ITS NOT SAFE OUT HERE!" the voice beckoned.

But the authoritative voice just made her bury herself with her hands, reminding her too much of the person who was the cause of such anguish.

However, the pain began to fade as her cries quietened. A familiar warmth wrapping around her wet skin. 

"Marco?"

"Shh, it's me. Don't worry ok, I'm here and I'm not going to let go of you." He cooed, Marco had never seen the distant girl so emotional before. She held in so much pain day on day, the storm being the trigger to let it out. Some of it at least.

He hooked his arms around the girl and carried her to a small shack he knew was close by. It was the training trail which led deeper into the forest.

Approaching the shack he opened the door and placed Elsa on the floor, keeping his promise and wrapping his arms around her. Holding her close. Close to him. Close to his warmth but even closer to his heart.

It beat slow and steady, his heartbeat was like music to Elsa's ears. She felt safe under the protection of the bigger build.

"Elsa. What happened" He asked almost in a whisper.

The lightening shook and her eyes glimmered with purple, Elsa turned around the the brunette and wrapped her arms around the latter's neck.

She sobbed, tears wouldn't stop. She felt the memories flash through her mind. No one, especially Annie, had ever seen her in such a state.

She wanted nothing more than to run away, push Marco away. She refused to burden him with the monster she felt she was, she didn't understand why he stood by her.

But he knew. He could tell she was different, surrounded by darkness, so why did he stay.

**_The more important question being, Why did she stay?_ **

He pulled her head away from the crook of his neck and reached to one of the cabinets in the shack. Bringing out a blanket he wrapped it around the fragile girl.

Marco smiled softly at her, hands placed gently on each of her cheeks. Caressing them softly, being careful not to startle her and to distract her from the loud voice belonging the storm outside.

**_That's right... She stayed for him, for his warmth... maybe even his love._ **

"Elsa, listen. Please tell me what's going on. I promise you i'll listen and understand" Marco spoke quietly. _Of course he wants to know why a 16 year old broke down in the middle of a lightening storm._

"Marco... trust me when I say I wouldn't be able to tell you even if I wanted to. And damn it do I want to" She croaked, her throat was sore from the screams.

"I understand—" He was cut off by Elsa flinching.

She couldn't keep contact with the boy but after noticing the pale blue-pink crystal wrapped around a string which hung around his neck, she snapped her eyes up to connect with his light brown ones.

They still flowed with hope and light even under the gloomy weather.

**why?**

"Oh uh, I hope you don't mind... I always found it so pretty I couldn't help myself." He said noticing her shock at the crystal which lead them to be so close in the first place.

"How could you call the devil's work pretty. Marco it came from a monster." She said sternly.

"If you're trying to describe yourself as a monster, you should know how deeply wrong you are. Listen Elsa, sometimes when we're in training I like to stare at the crystal. The way it lights up in certain parts of the day and darkens in the night, it reminds me of you. I mean sure you say and act like you've lost all hope for humanity. It's not hard for other people to see, they say the eyes are the window to the soul after all. But when i'm with you, I can see the light slowly coming back..." He paused for a moment, Elsa tearing up again.

"I don't know what's hurting you so much but... but you should know that I can tell you're not a heartless killer who worked for the king like Eren and others rumour you to be. Because to Sasha, Annie, Armin, Jean and Connie you're so much more than that. And to me... To me you're, Elsa Frink. My friend, the person I-" He stuttered, "Ah never mind I've said too much." He brought his hands down from her face.

But instead, Elsa brought her own shaky and pale hands to his cheeks. Tracing the freckles which were dotted randomly on them.

"Marco... Carry on... Please" She slowly says, unable to make eye contact with the boy.

He gaped, _does she feel the same way?_

The storm rumbled behind them, ready to curse the earth with another bolt of lightning.

**3**

The pair sat quietly. Waiting.

**2**

He slowly grabbed ahold of her hands on his cheeks.

**1**

The brunette brought her face closer to his ever so gently.

**The lightening struck loudly**

**"You're the person I love so damn much"**

Placing a slow and precious kiss to her lips, the warmth flooding her body as she gripped his hands tightly.

His hand titled her chin upwards slightly, deepening the kiss. The surrounding noise was nothing but blurry movements, only they mattered right now.

**It was short, sweet.**

They stared at eachother, eyes half-lidded and dazed. The pain was extinguished from her body as she let out a small chuckle, Marco following closely behind with a hearty laugh.

He pulled her closer once again, placing a kiss on her forehead before laying her on his chest.

The pair shared the warmth while they waited for the rain to slow down enough for them to at least rush back to the cabins.

The time was unknown.

They spoke endlessly.

Soft words, they were gentle yet big, It was what she needed after all.

She wished for it to never end.

**But the little shadow over her heart still placed the doubt that anything involving her would end painfully. And God she didn't want to lose Marco. Not now... Not ever.**

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The pair had separated, much to their disappointment, as Elsa approached the girl's cabin. The rain returned to a slow and spitting pace.

Her mind raced, clothes were now semi-dry, she had never had such feelings for anyone before.

Opening the door she was met with dozens of eyes staring at her wide open. I thought they'd be asleep by now.

A sneeze was issued from the corner before a bunch of the girls came barging towards her.

"ELSA I WAS SO WORRIED!!! YOU JUST DISAPPEARED AND— AND I THOUGHT I HAD LOST THE ONE PERSON WILLING TO BREAK INTO THE COMMANDERS ROOM FOR MEAT WITH ME!" Sasha sobbed on her knees.

_Well I guess the serotonin came back_ , Elsa hid a chuckle.

"You worried us Elsa" Ymir placed a knowing hand on her shoulder before leaning forwards.

"She's over there by the way, the lightening brought memories from Shinganshina i'm guessing" Ymir continued in a whisper, "Potato girl get off her."

_Does Ymir know..._ Elsa thought while she watched her pry Sasha's hands off her own legs.

Looking over she saw Annie holding a dark expression, her eyes were dull. Even from where she was standing she could see her trembling.

"Hey An—" Elsa was cut off as the blonde girl pulled her into a hug.

"Don't chase after me next time," She mumbled into her neck.

"Annie you worried me, I won't chase if you don't run. We stick together, remember?" Elsa clutched her friend tightly.

"Mmh.." She nodded.

The rest of the girl's stood in shock at the emotionless exchange happening infront of them. It was like it was being played in black and white, the emotion was hard to see but it was so obviously there.

The love the two shared for eachother.

"I'm guessing Marco came after your stubborn ass... You smell like boy." Annie chuckled lowly.

"Tsk learn to shut your mouth Leonhardt" Elsa rolled her eyes.

"Don't tell me you two did something" She raised her eyebrows.

"..." Elsa made her way into her bunk.

"Not that I care, but. Holy... Shit..." Annie gaped.


	9. What are you? A fool?

Elsa felt a nudge on her shoulder. It had been a week since the faithful kiss and despite hiding their relationship it was obvious to those close to them that their whole dynamic changed.

The nudge was harder this time making Elsa flinch forwards slightly, earning a slight glare from Shadis who was going on with his morning announcements.

"Marco you dick!" Elsa hissed harshly earning a stifled snicker from Jean and Annie who stood beside her. Little did Elsa know, the lovestruck freckled boy had gushed to Jean about their moment for hours on end after that rainy day.

"What did I tell you about smiling more Frink!" Marco mimicked her tone which earned him a wack in the side and a chuckle from Sasha and Connie behind them. Elsa caught his eye, how it shone in the sunlight which beat down on them, and she couldn't help but smile softly yet awkwardly at him.

"Ah there she is" He whispered just as Shadis turned his head away from them, Elsa couldn't help the blush that had risen up her neck and prominent. She loved how he would catch her off guard in the most inconvenient times, it would give her a thrill she had never felt before.

And him? Well Marco was delighted to see her changing, filling her with happiness and 'hope'. Sure it was happening slowly, but he understood the depth of trauma she had been put through that he wouldn't force the quick change others wanted from her.

The change Eren Yeager wanted, the way he hated how she thought about humanity and the titans, the way he refused to try to understand the platinum haired girl. He glared at her, Elsa was two rows infront of her and Eren had watched the whole encounter go down. _She doesn't deserve happiness, especially when she would willingly watch humanity die out_ , He thought.

"That is it for the morning announcements!" Shadis shouted, "Today's assignment you will be sparring in partners! I will be deciding your partners, this will be apart of your final grades so i suggest you work smartly!"

"YES SIR!" The cadets all saluted.

"Yeager and Braun! Springer and Braus! Kirstein and Frink! Bott and Leonhardt! Ackerman with Hoover! Ymir and Lenz!" Shadis began, people pairing off into the distance.

Jean hooked an arm over Elsa, "Marco don't worry I'll go easy on your fair maiden"

"Tsk watch me throw you in a ditch Horse face" She growled, irritated, "Annie stop looking at me like that!" Elsa glared at her friend who was smirking at her.

"HOW DO YOU DO THAT WHILE YOUR EYES LOOK DEAD!" Jean gaped at Annie, "YOU NEVER SMILE!!!"

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

**|Eren : POV|**

I held my stance, watching intently at Reiner's movements. Each step he took, every shiver and flinch. Then as if on queue he charged at me shouting. With ease I grabbed the wooden knife and slammed him on the ground, watching the air leave his lungs with an 'oof'.

"Sorry, man. I've really gotta learn to hold back" I grabbed onto him and pulled him upwards.

"Ah no problem, let's see how you do as the rogue" He offered me the wooden knife, "What are you waiting on?"

"This training doesn't make sense, we're not exactly picking fights with someone are own size" I scoffed, holding the knife, confused at the purpose of this exercise.

"But its our job to be prepared, the enemy... well it comes in many forms. Artillery isn't always going to be able to help. Soldiers are ready for anything, don't believe me? Look" Reiner points over to Annie, who wasn't bothering to do the exercise.

"Yeah... what about her?" I asked nervously, "Only thing her and her little gang are ready for is any chance to slack off."

"Oh well then, maybe somebody should give her a little talking to," He muttered "Oi Leonhardt! Commandant not beaten you down enough?" Reiner stood towering the blonde girl.

"Keep it up and you'll be as flat as the dirt you're walking on, I suggest you think back as to why you enlisted in the first place" I watched Annie's face contort into a one of sheer anger and annoyance.

_What the hell is he trying to pull?_

"Uh what are you doing?" I ask him, trying to stop some kind of conflict.

_Holy shit... she's pissed. Wow and I thought she was scary before. Couldn't pay me to be on her bad side._

"OK! Go get 'er" Reiner pushed me forwards.

"Heads up!" I sprinted towards her, not calculating her movements as her leg kicked my shin before hooking one under me. Completely flipping me over until i hit my head face first onto the floor.

"Son of a bitch! That was one dirty move!" I winced before she held me down in a choke hold.

"Are we done here?" She asks Reiner in a flat tone that was oh so familiar, God are her and Elsa alike.

"You've got some technique..." I attempted to compliment the girl as her arms tightened around my neck.

"It's pointless, just like all of this. Hand to hand combat doesn't really count against our final grade. The smart ones blow it off, Shadis said to work smart not hard."

I looked around to see Connie and Sasha messing around with the knives while Elsa repeatedly tripped up Horseface with no effort needed, Marco also laying back and laughing at the situation. Watching her baby Jean and make fun of him with her usual blank face.

"It's a crapshoot anyway. Only the top 10 cadets get to serve in the interior, the rest of us? Forget it. Point is, El was right, only the idiots like you take this boot camp seriously." She yanked the knife towards me, only inches away from my heart.

"First rule of this life kid, the better you are at dropping the bad guys, the more distance the powers-that-be put between you. That's what this whole stupid facade is about anyway."

She knocked me to the ground, my head spun as I felt another shadow form over my head. Elsa...

"Why am I not surprised it was you who pissed her off. I was wondering why she bothered sparring with someone. What are you? A fool? Face it Yeager. You don't fight for the nature of things and win, look around you, All the sons of bitches really expect us to play their game. Be the pawn if you want, then maybe you'll see humanity and all its hopelessness upclose" Elsa deadpanned, grabbing Annie and easily walking away.

_Tsk they don't know shit, all I need to do is work hard! Work hard and save humanity... right._

_We do have hope, I will be humanity's hope for a better life!_

**I looked around...**

_"I've been so fixated on building myself that I couldn't see it. They're not honing their skill to fight, they're honing it to run..."_

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**|Months Later|**

**|The night of the closing ceremony|**

**|Elsa : POV|**

The rest of the training corps stood in rows around me, training was over, grading was complete and the lucky 10 was about to be announced. Shadis stood infront of us all, the same scowl we all knew since Day 1 was plastered on his face. _Honestly you'd think the man would smile once in a while, ah but I guess that would make me a hypocrite._

Of the 280 recruits, only 218 graduated.

"DO YOU HAVE HEART?" Shadis bellowed as we brought our right hand towards our hearts.

"SIR!"

"As of this moment, you have three options so choose wisely: The Garrison regiment, The Scout regiment and The MP regiment. The cadets allegeable for the MP's will now be named!"

_10: Sasha Braus_

_9: Connie Springer_

_8: Marco Bott_

_7: Jean Kirstein_

_6: Eren Yeager_

_5: Annie Leonhardt_

_4: Bertold Hoover_

_3: Elsa Frink_

_2: Reiner Braun_

_1: Mikasa Ackerman_

"These are your top 10 Cadets!"

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

I rolled my eyes as we broke off for the celebration. _Tsk I didn't want to rank THAT high_. All of a sudden I felt a warm embrace pulling me into a dark, usually I would have bashed the creep in the face but... I knew who the perpetrator was and did not mind whatsoever.

"Look at you, Miss Deadpan in the Top 3!" Marco cups my face, smiling like a mad man.

"I didn't want it though, I don't need it to do what I need to do..." I sighed, "Marco I-"

"Hey, hey... don't stress El, I know you don't want to join the MP's and I'm fine with it as long as your safe! Do what you need to do, get the closure you deserve" He slinked a hand around my waist before pulling me forwards.

And just like that, I leaned in and lips were touching. Moving together in sync, almost as if they were moulded perfectly for each other. Like two halves finally reconnecting, It was the closest thing I've had to perfection and happiness in a long time.

He was kissing me gently, smiling into it slightly making me pull back in a fit of small chuckles. It was soft, slow, like always, and comforting in ways that words could never be.

"I want to hear that laugh more, Elsie!" He laughed stupidly, I hate the nickname that Connie gave me... but coming from Marco, it felt warm and soothing.

"Mmh, I love you so much Elsa."

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The two now changed and cleaned up, walked towards the table within the mess hall which held their... friends. Elsa was still struggling with calling them that but slowly it was getting easier to keep up with the change. They had been located to the Trost barracks within Wall Rose to choose their regiment later on in the week.

"Well, well, well, If it isn't the lovebirds" Connie mused, "Where were you two hiding?"

"Up your ass" Elsa lived up to her reputation and once again deadpanned despite the funny yet vulgar remark.

"Oooh Kinky" Jean winked making Marco wrap his arms around her protectively,

Elsa picked up a knife from the table of food, "Ah Jean - how would you feel if we recreated the time we first met?" She questioned him sluggishly.

Connie stifled a laugh, Jean’s face contorting into one of terror.

"Ok, ok, How much do you bet I can get a dance with Mikasa tonight?" He asked nervously.

"Mmh, Well her, Armin Eren are kind of on their way over here right now soooo..." Sasha laughed into her food, choking as she devoured it.

"HAHHHH?" Jean panicked as he shot up and saw the ravenette, "Oh fuck! If she asks where I am... just tell her... uh... tell her I went to do extra training! Yeah! That should make me sound manly!"

"That's the last thing any of us would say, besides what? Do you only have half a brain cell? She already saw you here dimwit" Annie groaned at the amount stupidity the arrogant guy held in his pinky finger.

And just like that it was like he had exploded, brain dead, the group laughed as he sulked away into a corner... crying.

Eren and his trio approached the table, "So Eren? You're really going to turn your back on the MP for the scouts?" Connie gaped, Elsa glared.

"I trained purely to fight titans, no matter what other reason I have to justify it. That is truly what I have to do" Eren shrugged, Elsa flinched slightly at his answer. She looked around to find Annie had disappeared... So had a few others but she wasn't exactly sure who else was missing.

"ARE YOU INSANE!" Thomas Wagner, a fellow cadet, shouted as he heard Eren's answer. The commotion earning a silence in the hall, "How many people have died?"

"Yeah so what? We buckle? Take it all lying down?" DAMMIT! They all think like Elsa now! He thought, "Things have changed, they aren't the mystery they used to be. Every failed attempt has taught us a lesson, and with that lesson we keep inching closer to hope!"

_No_. Elsa wasn't going to listen to that bastard act so hopeful, so happy go lucky! _He says that all the deaths will become meaningless if we don't start to change things, start to hope. What if there's is no way to win? All that death and destruction will still be meaningless, we are losing lives rapidly at this point. Shit isn't going to change that. You're stupid and idiotic dream isn't going to change SHIT!_

**_Wait..._ who was she thinking about, Yeager or... Her head began to spin, "Hey Marco, I'm going to look for Annie then head back to my room."**

He nodded and pressed a kiss on her forehead, his own self being an advocate for hope, for dreaming, was invested fully in Eren's speech.


End file.
